Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize