i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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