HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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