Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Couch. On fire.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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