i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And then he peed in my hair
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