and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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