brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
