my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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