No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
