Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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