some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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