Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
