Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
