I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
