We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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