I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
