dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
