just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
