I wannas sexs uuuuu
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
