god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
