so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
