My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
