Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
