Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
