So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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