i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Randomize