Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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