I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize