I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Randomize
