bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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