ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
