oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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