I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
