singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
