I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So many bounce houses so little time
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize