you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need water and some morals
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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