just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
