just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
