yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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