kristin has been a bad kristin
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
