Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
