I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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