how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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