Redeem this text for a blowjob
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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