He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
