bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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