i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
