Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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