I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
