: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
high people should be assigned attendants
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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