so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
