Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Randomize
