I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
