I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
