ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
