One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if only i could text you this smell
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize