I want to walk on stilts...naked
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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