Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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