Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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