i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
