You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She announced her abortion via fbk
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize