Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
